Water Torture

My husband John and I call it "Water Torture . " That is the form of torture that took place when the enemy tied you up and stuck you under a slow drip of water with no way to move . At first it doesn't seem as if things are "that bad . " You can just lie there and deal with a little water right? Nope after several hours of this you are ready to SCREAM . The sound of the dripping water, the anticipation of it dripping on you, the puddle that you are now lieing in makes you want to just die, literally . That is how the enemy breaks you .

Well, this is where this little band of missionaries finds themselves right now . In the middle of water torture . I know that we are supposed to be strong . I know that we are supposed to go to the Lord in prayer and just believe . I know know that the stuff that is happening is not as bad as what others endure . SO what happens? You go on by yourself and you don't ask for help . What we have realized is that this is just plain old pride . You start off very noble not wanting to share because well "it's not that bad . " The truth is when all the little things start to stack up, it becomes one big stinky pile . We need to get a clue and ask for prayer more regularly . It needs to stop being when the spiral heads down that we reach out . So please help us . Prayer is powerful . The body drawing together is powerful . We need you . We admit it, lay down our pride we need some help .

If it can break in our household it has . My laptop died a hardened death a couple of weeks ago . This is a huge need to what I do for work . Even more disheartening I have been writing a book for a while now and had not backed it up recently . Therefore, I am starting over in some places . Both our house phone and both cell phones are broken . Both of our cars need fixing and we woke up this morning to a flat tire on one . The dryer is broken . John has been walking around with one of the arms of his glasses glued on for months and they need to be replaced . My glasses need to be replaced . I have been having severe dental problems and am heading to the dentist next week . That has been a whole debacle on its own . I need a root canal and a cap replaced . John fell this weekend and seriously hurt his knee (Thankfully he is on the mend :>) The DVD player broke on Saturday . I have been sick on and off for months . Both of my parents have been very ill .

The ministry is financially unstable do to the times . Many of us are in this same position. I believe that we are under attack. Satan is attempting to render us broken and ineffective. Ministries aroung the country are financially destitute. Marriages, finances, our kids are all under attack. Enough!!
It has honeslty gotten to a point when something goes wrong that our response is, "Of course . . . " The list continues on and on . . .

Now are we the worse off? No . There has just been a lot of struggles as of late and we have felt the enemy sucking our joy . We are clinging to the last piece of wood from the shipwreck . We are thankful for that piece . We are not drowning . The Lord does take care of us- we just need some help . We need the body . We need you . Please remember us in your prayers . It always helps everytime .

Change is hard..

A good friend of mine is moving away. Just today the reality of this really began to sink in. You know what? It makes me sad, really sad. Oh sure, we have talked about how often our families will visit each other. Maybe, we will turn a corner of fresh memories. Oh, sure it isn't like we haven't lived far away from each other before, or like we are able to spend every moment of every day together. However, this change is still hard.

There are new friends who are in the process of learning all the nooks and crannies of who you are. They are fun and fresh and very much needed. They are growing into those people who WILL know you forever. But, then there are those people who HAVE known you for so long they have become an extension of who you are. At your best, worst and every where in between they have seen you.  You have fallen out of grace with each other over the years, but the bind of Christ has reminded you that this person is family. Therefore, they have never really been very far away.

The truth is that I have about three friends who fall into this, "have known me forever, but love me anyway," category.  Two of them already live far and it hurts.  I think I always had this comfort knowing that at least one was close at hand.  Now they will all be far away.

You know the friends that I am talking about. They are the ones that you can call and vent about your weird quirks, like the way that you can't just understand why others can't get the public bathroom etiquette of  "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie." COME ON NOW!!  These are the people who KNOW that you CAN NOT stand it when people chew loudly... SOOO.. They either A) Do not call you up and chew loudly in your ear, or B) Do not mind when they forget and do, that you make a rude comment about cows chewing their cud. There is no expectation of niceness there.  All of your idiosyncrasies have been out in the open like a bleeding sore for way too long, and they know you and love you for it. As a matter of fact when you blog about how weird you are, they call you up and remind you they don't love you in spite of yourself, but because of who you are.  These are the ones that let you stand tall on your soap box and rant about the injustice of the world. The plight of the poor, the orphans, the  hurting and the  hopeless, are not topics that they tire of because they are the burden of your heart.  They never tell you that you are crazy and they love your insanity.

We laugh together and we weep.  There has literally been triumph and tragedy. The memories are rich. You have secrets that no one else is allowed to know, except Jesus who knows everything anyway. Whenever you get together you laugh until you cry.  My closest friends have a way with Nacho Libre, Napoleon Dynamite, Abba and Ishtar like no one else.

I never have to explain myself.  They have seen me grow through so many seasons of my life. Some of them have not been so flattering.  It is not that we never judge each other. It is that we have and have survived to grow past it in forgiveness.  They are the ones that call you up and remember your dreams.

Today I stand on the crux of all three of these people living too far away. Sure, there is the phone,  the email, the blog, the visits and the history.  Thankfully, the Lord has knit us so tightly that they are family. There is the future.

As the old refrigerator magnet reads, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future." I can rest assured that my Savior is the same yesterday, today and forever. He cares that I need these people in my life.  But, as much as I am an advocate for change, I am not liking this one at all.  Maybe,  I can get the other two to move to Florida, if one is moving away???

In the meantime, tonight I am just a little melancholy.  Yes, it will be alright. But, these three amazing women know who they are.  Tonight, I am missing them all very much.

I can't wait until heaven when we can stand hand in hand all in awe of our Lord.  That thought tonight comforts me and brings thoughts of when we will all be together at "home."